THE CAUSATION OF BEING....AND THE PAIN OF KNOWING

I swear I will not dishonor my soul with hatred, but offer myself humbly as a guardian of nature, as a healer of misery, as a messenger of wonder, as an architect of peace. --Diane Ackerman

I will admit from the very beginning that I snipped this quote from
my sister's site but I use it here today because it resonates so deeply with me.

Last evening, while driving to work, I was listening to Amy Goodman's interview of a filmmaker (I forget his name, forgive me) whose film is debuting this weekend in San Francisco, Berkley and in Washington DC. The film is titled: WMD: Weapons of Mass Deception. Similar to Michael Moore's Farenheit 911, it aims to reveal what's really going on in Iraq and the lack of in-depth, investigative journalism (ie,what we know the US media continues to censor). What struck me was the audio of people rushing from the Palestine Hotel. There was a large group of unembedded journalists near that locale and across the road was some kind of bridge on which a large US envoy of tankers were driving. Without getting the details too mixed up, the long and short of it is that the journalists (most of them foreign) were told that the tanker had "come under fire" and they were to all go into the hotel for "cover." No one, to this day, reports ever hearing any fire. What ensued later was combat fire aimed at the hotel and several journalists were killed. The audio included cries for help, pleas for safety and the neverending question, "Why, why?" and many, many "Oh my God's."

As I made my way into work I was struck with a feeling of utter helplessness and despair. Despair in that I feel I am doing so very little to end the suffering of others. How much I feel that I am commiserating in this destruction, by feeding this capitalist system that uses its full might to "gas" people to death, to rip apart families (both here and there) and then, to stand before us bold-faced and brazen, and say that we are there for "self-defense" and liberation. And yet, this is my home. This is where I have, with all good intent, studied to become all that I am. This is where I have learned courage against a patriarchal system that devalues people of my race and sex. This is where I have birthed my children. This is where I stand to behold the beauty of the Mother Earth who sustains me. This is where I have become woman.

And let me not be misleading: I am, at times, happy here. Here is where I have choices. Choices between red or blue or orange or yellow or green shoes. Choices between flats or heels, wedges or pumps. Choices between Mother Jones and Mother Earth; choices between Yoga Journal and Ascent. Choices between Dark Roast, Cappucino, or Latte. Here is where I am free to study Buddhism or Catholicism or Judaism. Here is where I am free to allow my hair to twist into elliptical patterns. Here is where I can write my poems of love and fear and war without threat of beheading. Here is where I am free to birth as many or as few babies as I want. Here is where I can mingle with Christians in the morning and Muslims in the evening.

And so I ask, how does one deal with the pain of knowing? The pain of knowing that others are suffering? I do try my very best to be guided by the Eightfold Path:

1. Wise Understanding: realizing the cause of suffering.
2. Wise Intention: motivation--inspired by understanding--to end suffering
3. Wise Speech: speaking in a way that cultivates clarity
4. Wise Action: behaving in ways that maintain clarity
5. Wise Livelihood: supporting oneself in a wholesome way
6. Wise Effort: cultivating skillful (peaceful) mind habits
7. Wise Concentration: cultivatintg a steady, focused, ease-filled mind
8. Wise Mindfulness: cultivating alert, balanced attention

and so how does one accomplish #2?

Maybe there are some hidden answers in Diane Ackerman's quote.

Or maybe it is simply in here:

Every act of love is a work of peace no matter how small.
--Mother Teresa