SIMPLE ABUNDANCE
 
For the artist, there is no greater joy than seeing a project through to its birth.  From conception to the bringing forth of this idea, this belief, this pondering...the artist endures many struggles.  At times there is tremendous self-doubt and the overwhelming belief that one is not sufficiently equipped to paint the painting, write the book, mold the sculpture, produce the libretto.   And yet, there are times of complete confidence, when it seems that the Great Creator is right there in the room, dictating step by step what is to be done.  There are struggles of the everyday sort:  finances, children, work of the bill paying type, distractions and the ordinary social ills that plague the day and chase away the freshness of the air.  And one gets very weary, weary I tell you.  No matter the preparation or the schooling or the lineage of genius....we are all  just ordinary humans enduring these extraordinary experiences trying to find our way toward whole and complete and meaningful expression.

And it is because of the struggle that we must learn to see the goodness and the simple abundance in all that we do, all that we write, all that we paint, all that we co-create.  It is a must that one learn to see the value in  expression whether it is on the page for many or for simply one.  Whether we are reciting poems in the corner cafe for an audience of one or a standing room only crowd, somehow we've got to understand that therein lies the goodness and it is all good.  I am of the mind today that endurance alone is cause for celebration.

I'm writing this because the proof for my book has arrived.  It's beautiful.  Simply beautiful.  The launch date is September, later than we'd anticipated and yet, I find that even the delays are cause for celebration, not cause for alarm or dismay.  There were a lot of technical and graphic issues too lengthy and unnecessary to post here.   My daughter sat wide eyed next to me as we held the book in our hands.  She simply said "Wow," and smiled and I, so very proudly said, "Yes.  Wow."   Though it's not included in this collection, my very first serious poem was written during the East Coast blizzard of 1996 when I was pregnant with my daughter.  I remember the swelling of my spirit during the time that she was growing within my body, during the time that she and I cohabitated in every sense of the word.  I remember looking upon the snow, marvelling at how much had fallen during the first three hours of morning.  I remember Spouse and I, digging out his Mazda MX6 and he, lovingly and gently guiding me back in our small apartment to rest.  So much as happened since then.  We have bought our first home.  We have shared love and made love and created another child.  We have travelled out of the country and argued and made up and argued more.  We have buried our children's only grandfather and I have stood by my husband as he, with water-filled eyes on the day of the funeral, tied his tie and whispered, "Everything I know, I learned from my father."   We have held each other during the roughest of times.  And like two weary sailors caught in the worst of storms, we have tried our best to guide our little boat on the path of least resistance.

I have written many poems since then.  I have mothered and I have created a collective of writers who, until now, didn't know each other.  I have worked on my novel as best I could, all the while holding down different jobs that worked around the children's needs.  I have endured enough to create 112 pages worth of stories and poems.  Do I await the worldwind book tour and the six figure advance that would enable me to live a very comfortable life minus my job?  Of course.  I'd be a liar if I said it doesn't matter.  But what matters more to me now, seeing that I have immortalized my thoughts and my beliefs and my experiences is the process itself, and coming to it with a sense of gratitude; coming to it all with a sense of joy everyday.  To be given this gift and to recognize it for what it is, is a prayer beside still waters.

My only hope is that I will always feel this way.  That I will be good to myself the whole way through.  That I will recognize the simple abundance in every breath, in every step, in every word.


PS:  Oh and look! another juicy find:  http://www.literarymama.com

Enjoy!
--A.