FEAST ON LIFE


The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

---Derek Walcott, from Collected Poems 1948-1984


The days have been sweet. Not because of sunshine (it's been raining), not because of an influx of unexpected cash (same job), not even because of met goals and expectations (there have been major disappointments) but because of a Zen approach to the days; because of sitting (or attempting to sit) zazen, because of the Eightfold Path and a daily meeting of self with self; because of a God Spirit without limitations (stripped of pronoun) who loves me immensely.

Who would have thunk it? Certainly not I. But one can only resist what beckons the heart but for so long. It is a daily challenge and thus not something that can be claimed as DONE. A path rather than a religion. I am met with challenges every minute -- a major slap in the face just the other day -- and disappointments from putting too much confidence in people (or I should say, one person) who was not deserving of it. Delays in the production of my book which attempted to send my blood boiling. But this is the beauty of Zen and Tao: seeing things for what they are and not for what you conceptualize them to be; realizing that every moment is just that -- a moment. Not a major crisis, not a falling away of the Sun from the Earth, not a hole in the cosmos, not the solar system falling out of order nor the Earth breaking away from the Universe -- just a moment. A singular thing in a vast and whole place that no matter what can never be disrupted. Realizing that no matter what life is gon' be okay.

This is a major shift for me and though I had thought I was going it alone, here the Universe once again responds with yet another angel to help along the way.

Novel edits are moving along nicely and thoughts about the next are moving in. The children are a joy and a still a major source of missed sleep (but it's good) and Spouse has finally hung my shutters. Economic forecasts and and the so-called "Iraqi conflict" have settled me into this space. Still researching where I'd like to live but a serious halt on doing anything more than casual research. The children are in good schools, the job meets my current needs and we have a good healthcare plan that would cover us completely without the threat of filing bankruptcy. Milk is $3.19 a gallon (a small fortune but still less than some other places) and gas is still under $2.00 (for now). I'm not complaining.

Namaste,
--A.