GUIDANCE

She: Female friend from my old job, thirtysomething, two kids under the age of six.

Me: Recently laid off, but Plan B in full effect. Thirtysomething. Two kids under the age of seven.


She: Girrrrl, we had a staff meeting today and let me tell you what went down.

Me: [stirring up my pot of sweet and sour meatballs at 3 in the afternoon] Okay, shoot.

She: Girrrrl, do you know L (supervisor) had the nerve to lay down the law today?

Me: [tasting a meatball and wondering about that size 8 dress i bought a few weeks ago] Oh yea? What did she say?

She: Honey, she had the nerve to say that from this point on the remaining seven employees (seven out of thirteen) will be available whenever, wherever, however. From this point on, when we need you to come into this office, you WILL be here. (Despite the fact that it is a work from home gig).

Me: Okay.

She: And she had the nerve to say that from here on out, when we call you, you come in. There will be no more "child care issues," and there will be no more "I can't come in because I have to do XYZ for my child" or "I have to pick up my child from daycare at 3 o'clock." She said, "if I call any one of you in the morning and leave a message I expect a call back before noon. If you are out on a clinic appointment, I expect you to find a pay phone and call home to check your messages. There will be no allotment for cell phones." (In other words, it's your quarter, baby).

Me: [tasting another sweet meatball and stirring my pasta salad, too glad that dinner is done before five] Oh really.

She: Yea, girl. Now I know I got to get out of here.

Me: [feeling real good about the meatballs, the pasta salad AND the three straight hours I put in on my outline and my research for the novel without na-ree an interruption] I feel you girl. I feel you.

Moral of the story and Lesson for the Day:

Whenever you are feeling like you're being beat up by the Universe, wondering why God has done such-and-such to you and what you did wrong to deserve God doing such-and-such and wondering just when God's going to take His mighty thumb off the top of your head, smushing you like a beatle bug ..... PAUSE, take a DEEP BREATH, and THANK GOD that you are on His radar because without a doubt you're being poked and prodded for something bigger and better and more super-duper than you could ever imagine.

You see, right about now I am so glad I understand Spiritual Law. The law that all things work together for good for them that love God. All things. Not some things. ALL THINGS. There is no way under the sun that I could exist in a workplace that demands that I put the job first and everything else second. There is no way under the sun I can commit to shoving my two earth angels under the rug because someone (who doesn't even sign my check mind you) wants me to be available at their beck and call.

See, here's the thing I know: children don't ever care how big their house was, what position mommy had on the employee chart, how big a car they had or what color it was, whether or not the furniture was leather or tweed ............. children DON'T grow up to reminisce about any of that. What they remember and what they remind you of is whether or not you were there.
Did you come to my first recital? Did you see me hit that home run? Did you see me jump in the water (finally, after eighteen thousand swimming lessons). Mommy, did you see me at the play? I was the frog with the one-liner, standing next to the too-tall ant. Didja see me? Huh? Huh? Didja see me?

And the only answer you can give is yes or no.

You see, it ain't about the job, or the house, or the car, or the SUV, or the boat ..... it's about the kids. And it's about giving them your absolute all. The best you have to give. It's about being there at six, saying "You did a great job, I'm proud of you," so that come sixteen, when someone is trying to get them to take a sniff of coke, they have the wherewithal to say, "No. I'm too good for that. I've got too much to live for." It's not about programming your kids to say no. It's giving them the skills to reason out why they should say no. It's about giving your kids survival skills. It's about making sure they are emotionally healthy. It's about being sure they have the ability to walk out of potentially dangerous relationships later in life. It's about being sure that they know how to make it on their own come the day you are no longer on this planet.

And the only way you can ensure any of it is by being present.

And I know, beyond a doubt, that that is the reason my manager chose to let me go. Because she knows that I WILL NOT put anything or anyone above my children. Because I am too smart for that game. Because I know that at the end of my life, when I am laying on my bed and opening my eyes for the very last time, the ONLY two people who will be there to hold my hand are my children. I pray Spouse will be there but if he ain't I know I got my kids. And that's worth more to me than a pot of gold.

So today, aside from much much progress on this ass-kicking outline (which I will blog about tomorrow) I am too glad that God kicked my butt out of that rut. I am too glad that I didn't try to hold onto something that wasn't good for me. I am too glad that I understand the Spiritual Laws of not holding too tight to anything but to let Life ebb and flow.

Be Well. Be Love(d).
---A.