HELP ME UNDERSTAND

For the life of me, I can't get my mind around this thing we're calling ADHD. Now, I understand the children (God help them) that have true chemical imbalances but what's up with all the others whose parents take the quick fix -- Ritalin, Adderal, etc -- just to keep their kids in line and "functional" at school.

A work associate quasi-friend asked me the following question today, which still has my head spinning.

She: "Do you think three back-to-back dance classes on Monday evening (1.5 hours), swimming on Tuesday (1 hour), Piano on Wednesday (1 hour) and Gymnastics on Friday is too much for "A" to do next school year."

Fact: "A" is her daughter. "A" is five years old.

Me: "Yes I do."

She: "Why?"

Me: "A" is going into first grade, which is a lot different than kindergarten. A is still a child who needs a good night's rest. A has the rest of her life to learn the plethora of stuff you want her to learn. A needs to master reading, writing and arithmetic if she's to amount to anything in life. A shouldn't be encouraged to be a jack of all trades, master of none. A has already told you she hates piano and really has no interest in dance (other than hip hop, which she's too young for). You, on the other hand, are already complaining about the ripping and running you have to do, the little time you have for yourself. You need to realize that your kids are only with you for a season, afta' while they are going to have a life of their own --- what will you have to show for yours?"

She: "Hhmm..."

I don't understand parents these days. I really don't. They wonder why their kids can't sit still, can't focus, can't complete simple tasks. Kids today have no sense of creativity; they have parent monitored activities day in and day out. Whatever happened to creative play? Coloring with $1.99 Crayola Crayons? Skipping rope in the driveway, blowing bubbles, modeling some Play Doh? Nothing in this society promotes solitude, creativity. Nothing. And what's up with this play group nonsense, with parents sitting on the sidelines telling Johnny to share the ball with Jozie. When I was a kid, which wasn't long ago, we learned how to work our shit out between ourselves. If Gwen wanted to be on my team when we busted out the kickball and Sharon wanted to be on my team too, then we flipped a coin. If Larry wanted the yellow broom for our version of hockey and Gwen grabbed it first, then somebody else ran in the house and got another broom. We didn't need mediation. And if Gwen stopped speaking to Sharon, nobody's mother got on the phone calling the other one's mother up and wanting to know what happened. They just weren't speaking and that's all there was too it. We didn't need knee pads....we scraped our knees, ran in the house and grabbed some Mechurochome, slapped some Vaseline on it and called it a day. Played until we were hot, black and sweaty, praying that street light wouldn't come on so we could keep playing some more. But kids and their parents today? A whole different breed.

Now, I'm all for some extracurricular activity. Kid#1 has been dancing since she was four. Three years now. She has a dancer's body and she's been doing a ballet/jazz combo class this year. She wants to learn how to swim, so we JUST signed her up at the Y on Saturday mornings, 10:45 after the morning Dunkin Donut's coffee. $65 bucks, flat fee. And I did it now since there's only one more month left of school and it won't hurt anything. That's it. Dance is Friday evening and swimming is Saturday morning. That's it. No rippin' and runnin' in the middle of the week, losing sleep and falling flat on the face come school time. Not having it. I explained to Kid#1 that education is first priority. And she understands.

Me personally, I decided to forego any semblance of summer day camp this year. Even the YMCA camp. I need a rest. And Kid#1 needs a break too. She needs to bake in the sun, blow bubbles that will ride up to the clouds, then come in the house and paint a picture of it, like she loves to do. She needs to jump in the YMCA pool without worrying about hair getting wet and needing to be combed for school. She needs to sleep as long as she wants in the morning so her 42 pound body can grow.
Nah' mean? I need to wake up without my heart racing, knowing I've got to get her across town to school. I need a break. And I'm having one.

As for these other parents, hmpf! They can run themselves crazy if they want to. Hmpf! And they wonder why Ritalin and Prozac are jumping off the shelves.

Valentines To Give Your Children

Acceptance. Teach them they are loved for what they are. Give this gift with a kiss.

Self-Confidence. Help them understand that they can trust themselves. Give this gift with a hug.

Life Without Needless Fears. Don't let them see you as a worrier. Give this gift with laughter.

Appreciation. Help them become a person who has a spark and enjoys all of life and everything around them. Give this gift as they go out the door.

Faith. Introduce them to God, the best friend they will ever have. Give this gift by teaching them to pray.

Be well. Be Love(d).
ANGEL