Man, it's been so long since I've blogged. Well, real life kicks in and I just reserve the right to blog when I feel like blogging. Kinda sorry I didn't journal more about those last two posts. Oh well. A lot's been going on this past month. Birthday has come and gone and My Personal New Year has begun. The good thing is that I have been through some real spiritual change this year and I truly feel like I'm a better person. I'm redesigning my personal paradigm and have made the decision to spend 2003 writing full time and working part time as opposed to working full time and writing part time. I think the only way we can have what we really want is when we make the main thing the main thing. Basically my job is usurping too much of my creative energy and since I'm a Mom and already have very little energy or time to waste I've decided that something has to go. So I'm on this serious debt reduction kick .... don't own a cell phone and I'm seriously jonesing for a new system I've decided that the path to freedom is paved with money and lots of it. I mean, why do we work? We work to pay our bills and pay for the things we want, essentially. I like my career but if I had my druthers, trust me, I would be home writing and painting and decorating my home and taking care of my kids. Money answereth all things. So by switching around my work schedule and eliminating some expenses I know I'll be able to dedicate 2003 to the rewrites.
Another good thing that's been happening lately is that I'm meeting people who are doing, for all intents and purposes, the same thing I'm doing: redesigning their lives, thinking about what's really important, making decisions to move out of the country for a while. A good friend of mine left her job of sixteen years as a journalist at the Washington Post last year. She's been freelancing, giving speeches, delving into fiction writing .... basically, living. And though money can get tight at times, she's happy.
And cruising around a few sites I ran across a few blogs by folks that are questioning ....
And I think that's a good thing. I'm scared of folks who just accept things as they are; who don't seem to have an opinion about politics or religion or life. You know the kind of people who just seem to exist? Schlepping to their nine to five, standing around the water cooler complaining their asses off. The kind of people who have kids but think recycling is too much work. Anyway, I've been meeting people lately who seem to be on the same wavelength I'm on and that's a good thing.

Finished my short story WHAT REMAINS, that I'm submitting as a work sample for a grant I want. I'm proud of the story, which incidentally has gotten rave reviews at several readings where I've presented. But I'm equally proud of the fact that a year ago I wouldn't have thought I had the wherewithal to even apply. I've got an essay that's due to be published next month, titled THE ART OF SILENCE, which speaks to the necessity of personal silence in the creation of meaningful art or literature and best of all, I'm a stone's throw away from finishing this draft of the novel. In fact, I estimate by Christmas I'll be done. The ending is written, I just have about two or three chapters that lead to the ending to do. So, I'm feeling good right now. I'm in a good space.

What I'm reading right now is really enlightening and necessary. I know my mother would have a fit if she knew for a minute I've been studying outside of what we grew up believing but that's the beauty of being a thinking adult: ability to make your own decisions and decide for yourself what is true for you. She had a cow when my brother came back from living in Saudi (no, not military) and had a Qu'ran in his home. Oh she had a cow. But as far as I'm concerned that's her problem. I study the Dharma because I need universal truths. I can't function within these narrow guidelines established by people who are not living what they're preaching. And far be it from me to judge but I just believe that it's time to start discussing God and start touching God. And I believe as Thich Nhat Hanh says "Until there is peace between religions, there can be no peace in the world." People kill and are killed because they cling too tightly to their own beliefs and ideologies. To think that one group of people possess the Truth and that no one else does is a narrow-minded, very dangerous position. Think 9-11. Think Israel / Palenstine. Anyway, I'm open and I'm enjoying what I'm learning in the Buddhist teachings. Will I be a Buddhist? Perhaps I already am. One thing I do know is that in this new paradigm, I also have no need for titles or classifications. I am what I am and that is a hodge podge of many many things.

Until next time: be well. be love(d).