PROGRESS NOTES


Well it's July 1st and where I'd set this as a target date to be finished .... I am not. Partly because I lost a month's worth of writing time in May (death in the family) and the first week in June (daughter's birthday and graduation). But I am not discouraged ... actually I'm rather pleased. I am officially in Book Three, the last part of my novel. I expect that there will only be another ten chapters or so as things are coming to a head rather quickly. I am more interested in getting out every single fact that needs to be told about this story. I don't think there's any benefit in rushing a first draft. What will there be to re-write if one doesn't know the full story from beginning to end? I went to the Iowa Summer Writer's Festival in June and my instructor, Sands Hall, said "It is much easier to strip away than it is to add." So I plug along to get all of the story on paper and then I shall begin my re-writes.


The other day, something very interesting occurred, though. I officially finished the last chapter in Book Two and as I opened up a new page and typed Book Three - a nervous feeling came over me. I began to realize that soon, very soon, I will be done. I will have written an entire novel. I will be responsible for rewriting this mammoth and trying to shape it into something worthwhile. Can I really pull it off? I wondered. How will I know what should be cut and what should stay? I believe in visualization and I began visualizing myself with a finished hardcover novel, seated at a table signing my autograph. It felt so strange and so wonderful and at that very moment I began to feel afraid. I began to wonder "will it really happen?" My mind started to wander .... knowing that there are so many friends waiting to see this thing I've been working on for the longest time. Will they find it any good? I knew I needed to get out of the house. I needed to remove myself from my desk for awhile to digest and process these thoughts. I showered and went out to the library where I bought three used books for seventy-nine cents. To me, that's like winning the lottery. Then I just went for a drive, opened up my senses to my surroundings, felt the breeze on my neck, listened to the wind, did some people watching. What came over me is the fact that with or without this novel, I am and will always be a writer and an artist. It is not about writing what I think someone will like, it is about telling this story accurately and intelligently. It's about being present and enjoying the here and the now....this phase where I am still an unknown and there is no pressure on me from an editor or an agent to produce...produce...produce. I know that day will come. It's about perfecting my story and my craft. It's about cultivating a sense of awareness....absorbing and being present....bringing all of it to my writing. I came back home, turned on the oven and started my family's dinner. I sat down and began the next chapter, in the final section, knowing that I'm going to put my best foot forward and keep doing what I'm doing and let God handle the rest.

Oh, and for the record I received word that my short story didn't win in the Arts & Letters Contest. Some other chap from D.C. won. Good for him. If I'm not mistaken I think it's about the third or fourth contest I've not won. Which leads me to the decision that I will probably only submit to contests that are free from here on out. Most of these journals run contests with $15 entry fees solely for the purpose of generating money to keep their magazines in print. I don't think that's the case with Arts & Letters but it is the case for many others. So from here on I think I'm going to look for anthologies and keep looking through the Novel Writer's Market for other publications to submit to.
It's frustrating b/c $15 could have purchased a year's subscription to a magazine or journal that I really want rather than a one time reading fee. Oh well, you live and you learn.

ANGEL