WHERE AM I ?

Well, I've been over here for a little while.

See you soon,

A.

CHAKRA THREE

...so the other day I go to my two o'clock massage appointment eager to have warm hands knead the tension from my body. Family, work, household, telephone calls from friends and family and others have left me, on most nights, feeling depleted. Winter has set into my bones; it's hard to pull myself into the darkness of morning. The young practitioner did everything I expected her to do, not the least of which is to review exactly why I was there for massage and what I wanted to accomplish. I told her all of the above as we headed into the soft flow of light and music toward the back of the building where I would settle in for an hour's worth of absolute glory.

A good massage therapist knows anatomy and knows, instinctively, where to apply deeper pressure and where to lighten up. She was a good practitioner. When she arrived at my back she asked, ever so softly, "Angel, can I go a little deeper here?" I said, "Absolutely." What I didn't tell her (partly because I wanted to see if she would detect it herself) was the absolute tension I'd been holding in my back; how at times, it becomes so tight I need to lay down and rest. She felt it--a tight knot of energy right there in the mid to lower back. Trapped Chi as I like to think of it. And so as she worked and kneaded and pressed I softly said, "Gee, if I'm not mistaken I think that's my Chakra Three. I'll have to look at that." She was slightly surprised and asked if that was something I'd learned as part of my nursing curriculum. I said, "Are you serious? Absolutely not." We laughed and proceeded to revel in the beauty of the healing arts, thankful that more and more people are turning toward alternative healing modalities and incorporating them into western disease-focused medicine.

So when I went home and referred to my chakra handbook, it made perfect sense that I was feeling what I was. Chakra Three, if you don't know, governs the conversion of metabolic energy into action. Commonly called the Power Chakra, it is here that you build strength and develop your will. This is the chakra that directs your actions and propels your vehicle down your life path. The crux of third chakra power rests on the strength of your will. If intention and energy are out of balance, the will is weakened -- you either have lots of energy without clear direction, or good intentions without the energy to fulfill them. If they are balanced, the will is developed effectively and power ensues naturally. In this chakra the goal is to pay attention to energy sources -- those that enhance and those that suppress -- and also to form a clear purpose as a focus for your will. Anatomically speaking, the organs in the third chakra are the stomach, liver, pancreas and gallbladder -- all rulers of digestion and energy conversion. When one is feeling upset in any of those organs, it might be worth taking a deeper look at the issues in Chakra Three. Makes sense. Thinking back on the recent tummy upset, the back pain, and the way I'd been feeling mentally, it all started to come together. Time to work on Chakra Three.

For the last month or so I've been grappling with that will ... the will to continue writing in the face of time, aging, desire to have a decent nest egg for retirement. Since I truly believe in the body's ability to heal itself, I'd been wrestling with an N.D. (naturopathic doctor) program and whether it is time for me to put in my applications and go for it. Again, that side of me that always wants a plan B. What if the novel doesn't make it? What if the next one falls flat? What if I'm 40 before it's done? My will was on shaky, shaky ground.

And the other thing is the energy -- those things that supress. I've been knee deep in everything that depletes my energy: Internet, email, telephone calls, nightly news updates and trying to clear the clutter of old magazines, old clothing, etc. very little yoga time, all the while trying to get my writing time. No wonder my will has been on shaky, shaky ground.

So in the spirit of knowing (I try to live by Maya Angelou's maxim that when you know better, you do better) I'm resolving today to cut my email checks to once a day, preferably evening; cut the internet click-click-clicking to link after link after link; increase my yoga time, focusing primarily on that chakra three; absolutely cut my telephone time (though I love to talk I'm often left feeling angry about the loss of time); and increase those foods that will support energy production. I also created a new page on this blog called Birth of A Novel -- this way I can work out those novel issues (see right bar). I like Nalo's blog in that at least once a week she's charting her progress in a physical space where she can see the forward movement of the project. I think that's a critical element in strengthening will. Nothing like pushing the wheel uphill and seeing nothing but more hill, but oh, to see a few trees behind you, to see footprints behind you ... now we're cooking with fire.

And the N.D. ... well, let's push this thing a little while longer. See where the road leads.

In faith for you and me,

Angel